I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
