okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
