I look better un-naked...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize