Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
