girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
