porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
