Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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