whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
