apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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