I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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