he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
