Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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