so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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