Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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