Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
