I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
