i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize