omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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