Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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