the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
