What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
