Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
