hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She tied me up with her honor cords...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
