Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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