lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
