***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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