I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
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If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize