Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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