I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
