Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
