so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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