Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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