Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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