Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Randomize
