It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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