oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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