The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
