You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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