I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
