just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
