Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
