I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You've changed since you got that strap on
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
