marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
