Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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