i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
