Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
