I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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