I think my vagina is haunted
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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