I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i would punch a child for taco bell
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
vagina is talking i cant
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
