areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
