Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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