she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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