who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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