that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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