ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We were destined to go to rehab together
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize
