I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
