Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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