it wasn't lemon gatorade
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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