Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
