real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
