this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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