after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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