Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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