that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
